What a journey! 8 months of training and I have completed a full marathon….yesterday. 4hrs & 34 mins of pounding the red earth at Ayers and it was harder than I had prepared myself for. The last 9kms were proving challenging with the last 5 walked more that run.
It was probably the only run I have done that I didn’t think about the ‘goings on’ in my life!
In recent months while running, I have obsessed over persons A, B C & D* and whoever else is doing my head in. But yesterday I completed all 42ks without music & without thinking of those who regularly cause me angst!
On Friday, Lisa said to me about the journey we have both been on in getting to the marathon….more mentally than physically. I shared with her what I have been struggling with and the possibility of moving back to Sydney etc etc. and she said maybe working towards this goal is all part of the unrest and then after the marathon, things will feel different…..and they do!
One reason I can identify is I class myself as shit at achieving goals. I wander through life aimlessly hoping that everything will be ok. The eternal optimist! What this has taught me is that if I want to do something and it requires effort and commitment, then I can actually do it.
I set out to run a marathon in under 5 hours. I achieved that and it was 8 months’ worth of training to do it. I am so grateful to Colin for this training. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have done it, I am sure. Lisa was inspiring. She had been so unwell recently and I cried when she made it to the finish line. Amazing chick!.
So, has my journey ended at the marathon? I doubt it. I need to decide where to channel that effort and energy into. And no it’s not work or relationships. It HAS to be into me. My personal wellbeing.
When I was running the only thought momentarily was each pounding in the red dirt was pounding away so much control I have been trying to manage. I have invested into pointless emotions of resentment, guilt, anger, resentment and each step was releasing that energy. It may be post marathon feelings but I truly felt happier in my inner being. I have achieved a massive thing…a long term goal! Well done me!!
So I’m on the plane now going home. I having my second mini bottle of red wine which I feel is totally deserved….It is Guilt Free!
What awaits me when I get home? I really don’t know but whatever it is my higher power sorted it out for me.
Head space now → although I’m not elated at completing a marathon, I am very proud.
Gratitude to Colin by long suffering trainer and Lisa my co-runner and amazing friend.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent
